The Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Barack Obabma:
The chicken crossed the road, okay, because it was time for a change. The chicken wanted a change!

John McCain:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to in engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side.

Sarah Palin:
You betcha he crossed that road, because he knew how hard it is for middle class American chickens to get across the road. Especially with a lipstick wearin' pit bull hockey mom at their heels.

Hillary Clinton:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.

Dick Cheney:
Where's my gun?

Colin Powell:
Now to the left of the screen you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Bill Clinton:
I didn't cross the road with that chicken ... uh, what is your definition of crossing-the-road?

Al Gore:
I'm gonna make the world a safer place for that chicken ... no more cars allowed on roads.

Oprah:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, so instead of having him learn from his mistakes and get hit, I am going to give this chicken a car so he can just drive across the road.

Al Sharpton:
Why are all the chickens white?! We need some black chickens around here!

Anderson Cooper, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken trying to cross the road, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Geraldo Rivera:
I am secretly embedded with the chicken, but I'd like to tell you all of his tactical maneuvers.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die in the rain ... alone.

Jerry Falwell:
Because that chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with phrases like "to the other side."

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. He just said he was going to do it, and that was good enough.

Aristotle:
It is the nature of the chicken to cross the road.

John Lennon:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the roads together in peace.

Albert Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Colonel Sanders:
Did I miss one?