Sunday Rest

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter

and your lips with shouts of JOY.

Job 8:21

Growing Pains of Friendships

My need for friendship has ebbed and flowed with each season of my life.  In high school I desperately needed a 'best friend.'  By 10th grade I had one.  We were inseparable, much to my mother's chagrin.  By 12th grade, we were torn apart by a simple misunderstanding.  Feelings had been hurt, tears were shed, and my self-esteem had been chewed up and spit out.  While it was an extremely painful time of life, it was short lived and some important life lessons were learned.

Throughout college and young adulthood I cautiously treaded on the doorstep of friendships.  In retrospect, I had a much healthier perspective of friendships because of the pain I had experienced.  I became comfortable with groups of friends and chose companions with similar values and principles.

Nothing had prepared me for the lonesomeness that accompanied my transition from working adult to stay-at-home-mommy.  It was such a juxtaposition of emotions: pure joy of fulfilling my lifelong dream of motherhood; and the sadness of not having a close friend that was experiencing the same stage of life.  Once again, it was time for me to learn some lessons about friendships.  First of all, I learned that the friendship I was seeking was right there in front of me: my mom.  Even though we weren't going through the same stage of life, we were experiencing life together.  Who else would squeal with delight over a chenille baby beret? 

The second lesson I learned was to appreciate the friendship of my husband.  While he can't fulfill that innate need for female friendship, he is my best (life-long!) friend, and light of my life.

In the past few years I have developed some wonderful, deep friendships.  For example, my walking buddy, E.  She is the kind of friend that cares deeply without being pushy.  Her laid back approach to life matches mine; we don't have to worry about unrealistic expectations. Our friendship is sprinkled with laughter; she loves my children, and I hers.  We enjoy life together.We pray for and encourage each other when life gets crazy.  We are REAL with each other.  No pretenses.   Most importantly, we guard our words.  I don't have to worry if she will speak unkindly of me, or repeat something I've told her in confidence.  

What makes this beautiful friendship work?  

Balance  

I have another friendship that, over time, has worn me out.  It is very unbalanced.  While I enjoy her company, I have to maintain the friendship.    It was painful for me to realize that she was only willing to give me the leftovers.  In a balanced friendship, phone calls are returned.  Emails are enjoyed.  Time and effort are given freely.  It takes 2 to tango, as the saying goes.

I wanted to consider what makes friendships work.  

I have learned:

1. It is very difficult to be friends with someone who is preoccupied with self.

2. Never take a friendship for granted.  Any relationship that isn't nurtured, won't grow.  

3. When I am spending time with a friend, my goal is to let her know that I value her and appreciate her gift of friendship to me.

4. Negativity and moodiness have no place in friendship.

5. Transparency, while scary, is vital for a relationship to blossom. 

I've recently been going through some growing pains in a couple of friendships.  Nothing overt, just personal stuff.  Even though it hurts, this time I am approaching it with a different attitude: 

I want to see what the Lord is teaching me.  Not about them, but about myself.  My prayer is that my eyes would be opened to the things I do that might be hurtful to others.  I pray that I am not so preoccupied by my disappointment, that I miss out on the life lesson right before me.

Recommended reading:

The Friendships of Women, by Dee Breston

She Speaks or Blogs!

A year and a half ago, I didn't even know what a blog was.  I thought it was where cranberries like to be harvested.  It is amazing what a big part of my life it has become in just a year's time.  I have a whole new group of friends: my 'blog posse'.  Some of these new friends are local, and our mutual love for blog-land has brought us together.  I have met other bloggers, that I am sure IRL, we'd be best buds.  For now we are just content to leave sweet comments of encouragement. One day, in glory, maybe we'll get to have coffee.

I also have some new blog-friends that don't have the faintest clue that I exist, kinda like the freshman admiring the senior.  That list includes Lysa, the Nester, and Beth.  They are amazing women that I truly admire.  I am sure if I came within 30 feet of them, I would forget my name and my deodorant would immediately stop working.  Of course, I know that they are each daughters of the king and we would totally hit it off (especially all of us being from the south). 

But.

I just might get to meet a few of those fellow blog maidens.  Lysa T. is offering a scholarship to  the She Speaks Conference.  This year they are having seminars for bloggers!!!

The few times I have had the opportunity to do either (speak or write publicly), I've been acutely aware of my lack of knowledge and training.

Oh to gather together with other women and sharpen my skills as a writer, speaker and blogger!   So, I'm off to sign up to win that scholarship!  

Anyone else going?  We could be roomies...

Easter Whimsy

Over the weekend, I visited my BFF since college days.  

On my way, I stopped at Ikea.

Big disappointment.  No black and white check slip covers.  It was so disappointing, that I spent a total of $8.55.  Isn't that sad?  

But, as always, my friend inspired me.  Her attention to detail is amazing!  I loved the birdseed in the glass jar above!

  Last summer when I visited, she had a gerber daisy in this trike basket.  I love the spring version too!

Aren't these boxes adorable?!  Oh the possibilities for changing out the labels!

More Easter whimsy

Loved this simple arrangement.  A bowl of eggs on a fabulous white ceramic tray.  I was secretly trying to figure a way to smuggle the tray home, but she said she found it at TJMaxx.  

Sunday Rest

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you 

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your Book

before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

Things that Make Me Go Hunh?

I walked in on this the other day.

Whatcha doin?  Oh! I'm wearing Papa's old motorcycle helmet to practice for when I ride the 4wheeler.  

Of course.  Safety first!

This conversation took place a couple of months ago:

7yr. old: Mom, am I going to die before Grace dies?

Mom: Wwhat?!  I, mean, what do you mean, sweetie?

7yr. old: Grace says that left handed people die before right handed people.

7yr. old: I'm left handed.

Mom: Yes, me too.

7yr. old: Grace said she is going to live a lot longer than me.  Am I dying soon because I'm left handed?

Mom: No, but Grace is if she doesn't stop filling your head with nonsense. No, honey, you need to stop listening to everything Grace says.

7yr. old: Yeah.  She thinks she's smart like a teenager.

Mom: Yep. That she does. Snicker, snicker... cause I KNOW how smart they are.

Last week:

9yr. old: Mom, how big is God?

Mom: Well, he holds the universe in his hand, but he is small enough to live in our hearts and know us very well.

9yr. old: Well if he holds the world in his hand, how come he told Moses to turn away and only look at his back.  If Moses looked at his back, it couldn't have been that big.

Mom: True.  How'd you get to be so smart?

9yr. old: That's how God made me.

Mom: The beauty of God, is that he can be any size he needs to be.  I'm glad He's right here enjoying this conversation as much as I am.

Break Time

My kid's spring break started today.  

Two weeks of family time, no homework, relaxation and sleeping in.

To ensure the sleeping in part for me, the kids woke up to this:

Since it has been raining for 4 days straight we had to get creative:

HOURS of entertainment!

One of my favorite aspects of break: pajamas 24/7

It's also break time for me.  Guess what I'll be doing?

Oh, yes, and of course this:

Enjoy your day!