Tone Check

Have you ever been around someone that speaks harshly to their children?

My first encounter was in the grocery store when I was a teenager.  I could hear a mom, on the next aisle over, spewing ugliness to her 3 year old.  It physically made me sick.  It was one of those moments in life that I thought, "I will never..."

Fast forward 20 years.  It still makes me sick to hear moms speak harshly to their children.  Now before you start thinking that I've got it all together (snicker), let me be real.  There are times that I reach the end of my rope and use a tone of voice that makes even the dog cower. 

But, how are you doing on a regular basis.  Does your tone speak love or weariness?  Do your words nurture and heal, or rebuke and break?  Of course there is a time for correcting.  Some days, more than others.  But in the quietness of the evening, after I've tucked them into bed, I need to examine my heart and voice.

1. Would I speak to strangers in this tone of voice?

2. If someone recorded my voice, and played it back for me in 20 years, would I have regrets?

3. What is my tone of voice teaching my children about parenting? 

4. Does volume and a harsh tone get the results I am wanting?  Would consistency and composure be more beneficial to all?

5. Do my children think that being a mom is a special job?  One that I rejoice in?

A fool gives full vent to his anger,

but a wise man keeps 

himself under control.

Proverbs 29:11

Now for some reality from our household:

Over the weekend I told my daughter to clean out her closet.

This is what I found:

She cleaned it OUT. 

Out into her room.  

Wow.  I need to be more specific in my directions!

A couple of years ago, my girls came running downstairs screaming,  "Mom, mom, you're not going to believe what our brother just did!"  I took a deep breath, and went upstairs to find this on my bedroom wall:
  My gut reaction was frustration.  But I took a deep breath and told him that it made me very sad that he didn't take care of my wall.  We discussed that pencils are only for paper.  Fortunately, it was behind the door, and out of constant view. 

 But now, it is a masterpiece.  One day, when we need to repaint the room, I'll request that the part behind the door stays green.  It is a memory of a time that I will never get back.

Remember my girls' reaction to him coloring on the wall?  Well, we recently had another little masterpiece show up on the hall wall.  But this time the girls didn't come running.  In fact, they never said a word.  I just happened to find it on my own.  

Funny.  

This is why:

Uh-huh.  That's what you think it is.  Two perfectly practiced kiss marks that just happen to be the same height of said girls' lips.  

My hubby and I had to correct, but we sure had a good laugh about it.  

Isn't parenting fun?!