New Shoes: A Season of Motherhood

Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you loved so much you were sad to let them go?  My favorite summer sandals bit the dust this week.  They were comfortable and went with everything; but the pleather had begun to dry rot and the stench was, well, embarrassing.

It's hard to let a good pair go, even when a new pair holds the promise of new adventures.

I've walked a thousand miles in the "shoes" of mothering my young.  Putting on a new pair of shoes is exciting and sometimes painful.  This week we sent our firstborn to public high school.  It was an exciting, emotional week for me.  It was time for me to try on my new shoes of mother-of-a-high-schooler.  The hardest part was taking them out of the box: dropping her off that first day.

She was excited and beautiful that morning.   

I donned the big glasses to hide my watery eyes.   

On the way we prayed over her teachers and classmates; and a friend to sit with at lunch.  We prayed for her to be a light and joy to others.  I may have prayed for her safety twice.

I held it together until she stepped out of the car.  My plan was to stop by Target to soothe my aching heart with a Chai latte but the tears on my cheeks wouldn't let me get out of my car; so I drove the extra 3 miles to the Starbucks drive thru.  The perky barista exclaimed "have a wonderful day!" as I pulled away.  If she only knew.

I made it to the bank parking lot before the ugly cry erupted. After awhile, it occurred to me that the police might be called because a woman was loitering behind the credit union.  I figured I would just have to own up to the fact that I wasn't casing the joint, but rather, having a very normal emotional breakdown.  

The tears were not because I am sad that she is heading into a new chapter of life, but rather the closing of the book of childhood.  A letting go.  She is ready.  We are ready.  But a momma's heart has to have time to process/grieve/put on her new shoes.  

Since that first day, our new shoes have fit nicely.   She is enjoying 9th grade and I am relearning the joys of carpool line.  

At this point I feel that I need to be honest and bare my soul.

I totally missed the carpool line on the first day.  I thought the bell rang thirty minutes later than it actually did.  So, as I was nearing the school, I got a frantic call from my husband wanting to know if I forgot our girl.  Forgot our girl?!  How could you even think that?!!  Apparently she had tried to call me (which for the record, I never got) and finally called her dad because she had been abandoned had stood in line waiting for 30 minutes with ten other kids whose moms had also failed miserably judging from the looks on their faces.

Lamest new mom-of-a-high-schooler ever!!!

Other than that, our week has been smooth albeit incredibly busy.  My younger daughter made the volleyball team and the practices/games/ travel have begun.  I've put more miles on my car this week than if I had driven to the beach.  

We are adjusting to early mornings, homework, and family fall activities.  Even though my sweet man has taken on the responsibility of mornings, I still set my alarm at 5:45 just in case.  And even though I've taken the afternoon responsibilities, he still calls to make sure I've picked her up.  Why in the world would he worry over that?!   Oh, yeah, about that.

I think it's cute how we are both digging deep to make sure this new phase is done right.  I love that it is a team effort (mainly because "the team" doesn't need me to talk in the mornings).

By this afternoon, the point of exhaustion had been reached.  I made an impulse buy of Pride and Prejudice.  What kind of world to we live in that Mr. Darcy has been reduced to $5?  I gave my girls full permission to rest  and be whisked away by the Bennet  sisters.

I told my sweet boy he could play ... whatever.  Little did I know that the Goldfish box would come in handy for a quiet afternoon.

I'm taking a few moments to gather my thoughts and thank the Lord for His mercy during this monumental week.  I am thankful for new seasons and look forward to the new places my new shoes will take me in this adventure called motherhood. 

Wishing Away and Holding On

When my fresh-from-heaven firstborn introduced me to 3am feedings, I wished  I could sleep, even for a mere 5 hours.  At first, my sleep deprived mind didn't comprehend the soul-satisfying bond I was missing by the wishing away.  By the time my second and third children came along I realized that sleep was overrated.  The tender moments shared in the silence of the night were precious seconds that could never be replaced.

When my middle child reached the age of four I wished away the temper tantrums.  Yeah, I don't miss them much, but I do miss those sweet little hands with dimpled knuckles holding my face saying "I yuv you, Mommy."

When my girls had trouble staying quiet for little brother to nap, I wished away the noise.  Now I would give anything to hear their squeals of laughter and make believe chatter wrapped in pink princess attire.

When eating at a restaurant took a village, I wished away the need for a high chair and cutting up bite-sized finger food before my own turned cold.  Restaurant dining is much more enjoyable now that they are old enough to cut their own meat and order their own adult-sized food.  But occasionally I miss the sippy cup and cheerio stage.  It represents a time when my children were completely dependent upon me.  Was it overwhelming?  Yes!
I. still. miss. it.

When I took my children to the library I wished away the picture books because I was fearful that my attempts to teach them to be good readers was failing.  We read a thousand picture books, but the chapter books were always the "greener pasture."  Now we visit the library and I'm the only one who stops by the thin books with beautiful pictures.

I cried the other day when I realized my son no longer takes baths.  He didn't announce that he was done with that stage of life.  It just simply slipped into the archives of life.  I yearn to find superheroes lining my bathtub and pull a pruned boy into a terry cloth towel.

This tilt-a-whirl of motherhood can leave us spinning.  Wishing away and holding on at the same time is an oxymoron that lives and breathes.  I've done a lot of holding on this summer because our family is stepping into a new phase of life.  I'm having to let go and hold onto the sweet memories that my heart aches to relive.

To the sweet momma in the trenches of diapers and whiney afternoons: hold on.
Don't wish away.  You will need these sweet memories one day.

Q and A Day

1. Where have you been?  Yes, summer has taken a toll on my blog, but it's all good stuff.  When school fizzled out finished, my life got crazy. Aside from a glorious week at the beach, spending time with my kids as their mom (not the teacher), and squeezing pool visits between rain showers, I picked up 2 free lance writing jobs and started my own business.  

2. Say what? Yeah.  It's been crazy good and I've learned a lot about myself.  I started writing curriculum for a company published by Navpress.  It has proven to be different than I imagined; more like lesson planning than the "meaty" writing I expected, but it has been good experience in the "real" world.  It has stretched me in ways I needed to be stretched.  It has consumed many hours and brain cells but it has helped the family budget and given me opportunity to grow.  I've also been writing for a real estate agency.  Again, different than I expected but it keeps my fingers in the stuff I love.  Eventually I will meet with clients and help them stage their homes for the market.  That's the fun stuff!

3.  What's your new business?  It's really my dream job.  The official job description is "Interior Design Consultant."  I help people create a space they love.  I often help make flooring/paint/fabric/color decisions.  My clients have been the best!  The Lord has uniquely placed each one in my life at just the right moment.  It has been a huge blessing to see the variety of tastes, budgets and personalities. 

4. How did this come about?  A few years ago I started helping friends make interior design decisions.  Most of it was pure pleasure, however, a couple of times my generosity of time got taken advantage of and my feelings got hurt.  My sweet protector husband suggested that I start charging for my help.  The hardest part of the process was convincing myself that my talents were worthy enough to actually advertise.  The Lord placed a few unexpected people in my path who encouraged me to go for it.  Last spring, when my part-time nanny job fell through, I knew it was time to take the plunge.  The response from clients has been overwhelming!  

5. What about homeschooling?  God is a wonderful, creative God.  I never imagined that I could have a part time business and homeschool.  With this business I get to set my hours and keep my focus on my kids.  Growing up, my mom didn't work outside the home and none of our friends' moms did either.  At one point, actually I believed working outside the home was a sin.  Funny, our perceptions as kids.  I've since learned that it is NOT a sin.  I've realized that the important thing is to follow God's leading.   My most important job is my family.  As long as I keep that perspective, I know my priorities are in check.  Prayer.  Lots of prayer.

6. Will you homeschool all three kids this year?  No.  Our lives are getting ready to take a giant turn in the road.  Our eldest daughter will attend public high school in August.  

7. Did you say public school?  Yes, yes I did.  It will mean a huge change for our family, namely the traditional school calendar and the early mornings (not a morning person).  But we all have a peace about it.  She is super excited.  I vacillate between happy and throwing up in my mouth.  Too dramatic?  It's reality.

8. Why did you decide to send her to traditional school?  When we started the homeschool journey four years ago, we said one year at a time... and probably not high school.  I learned to not say "never" back when I said I'd never homeschool.  For now, we believe this is the right course of action for our family.  There are a myriad of reasons, including 

a.) she is ready and excited b.) I don't feel qualified/disciplined enough to take her through high school curriculum c.) we cannot afford private school, so the Lord pretty much made that part of the decision for us d.) we have prayed over this decision e.) we have prayed some more

9. Are you nervous?  Me?  Yes.  Her?  No, other than the typical first day jitters.  I have the typical mom-fears that I have to lay at the feet of Jesus on a daily basis.  Did I prepare her?  Will she be ruined?  Did I already ruin her?  Am I feeding a lamb to the wolves?  Is she ready?  Am I ready?  How can she be old enough for high school?!  

10. Are you planning on blogging about farm life anymore?  Yes I am!  We have been at the farm for 10 months and I feel that I am still settling in.  I'm ready to show you some  finished spaces in our home as well as some fun things that keep us busy.  Thank you for hanging out with me.  I've missed you!

Coffee and the Urban Dictionary

Every phase of motherhood brings its challenges and joys.  Every. single. phase.
My oldest child is entering high school next year and I feel like I am putting on hiking boots and stepping into unknown territory; or maybe putting on my fireproof suit and grabbing my flame thrower.  Potatoes, pototoes.

8th grade graduation breakfast

We celebrated our last day of school in style.  I was an emotional kangaroo bouncing from elation to tears.  Elation that summer break has arrived; tears because it was the last day I will ever homeschool my oldest child.  Sigh.  Where is the chocolate?  I need some pronto.

Last day of school 2013

Since my child will be going from homeschool to the second largest public high school in our county, I may be freaking out a bit.  Yes, I know she can handle it.  I know she's well rounded and will do great.  BUT.  But it is the idea of throwing my lamb in with the wolves that has me undone.  The problem is that I remember high school well.  I remember the lewd comments from not-so-gentlemanly boys.  I remember thinking that my parents didn't even know what french kissing was.  I remember too much.

And yet, here I am.  The MOTHER of a HIGHSCHOOLER!!!  I think that should be a cuss word.  Take that, you mother of a highschooler!  How did I get here?  I thought I was just getting the hang of the wonder years and preteen years.  Heck, didn't I just get married?

I am facing a year of letting go.  For goodness sakes, I had to let go of my youth this year when I "turned old."  The fact that I am slowly stepping out of the mommy spotlight for my daughters hit like a ton of bricks this week.
Brick #1: I was asked to go to their youth camp on the Mom Squad.  Their looks of horror and disdain was my first indication that our relationship might be changing.  I guess my coolness is no longer appreciated.  
Brick #2: I took my daughter and a friend to the mall this week... on a Saturday night. (enough said, right?)  I was wise enough to give them space and not be all up in their business but close enough to give the "mom look" to some googly eyed boys with their pants hanging down past their plaid boxers.  But then it hit me.  I'm the mom and they are the teen shoppers.  Shouldn't I be pushing a stroller and drooling over the Baby Gap window?  Why was that such a hard pill to swallow??

Sweet girls with their candle scent of choice.  Mine chose the one that smelled like a cute boy.  Sigh.

Brick 3: While at said mall, the cute twenty-something girl that served our Starbucks was a former student of mine.  Yes.  I taught her 4th grade the year I was pregnant with my soon-to-be high schooler.  Where's my cane?

So I did what every other normal freaking-out-mother would do.  I called my bestie for drinks.  We're wild: coffee for me and tea for her.
She just completed her first year as a M of a H.S. so she's totally in the know.   As I pelted her with questions I drooled over her breakfast choice.

After a 2 hour caffeine injection she brought me back around to reality.  Reminding me that it's going to be hard, but we're going to make it.  And that we'll grow old together.  Um, I think we've already hit that milestone.  

Anyhoo, I looked at her in all seriousness and said, "I have an important question for you."  She was expecting a deep, spiritual question but this is what she got:
"What does S.W.A.G mean?"
The only swag I know about is the free stuff Meg's sponsors give away on craft weekends.  I got a clue that it had a hidden meaning when I noticed it screen printed on a shirt in an urban themed store at the mall.
After she recovered from laughing, she realized I was dead serious.
I need to be in the know.  I need to know what the cool phrases are if I want to have intelligent conversations with my daughter, come August.
So my M of a HS friend whipped out her iphone and said, "there's an app for that."  We pulled up SWAG on the Urban Dictionary.  Yes, totally rockin our M of HS coolness at the coffee house.
Apparently there are many definitions of SWAG, but "free stuff from craft weekend" didn't make it to the Urban Dictionary.  There were some ugly words and ridiculous slang terms, but overall we learned that SWAG really means "appearance, style, or the way he or she presents them selves."  My favorite definition was "Something We All Get tired of hearing."
Let me be very clear.  I do not recommend the Urban Dictionary.  It is filled with nastiness and profanity.  Over our coffee, my friend and I decided it would not be an app to download, but we at least answered the question of the day.

Serving Beyond

Some years Mother's Day floats by unannounced and easily forgotten.  Don't get me wrong, my kids and husband always celebrate and treat me like a queen for the day, but this year the celebration took on a new dimension.  Service.  I had the privilege of serving the women of our church at our first annual Mothers Day Tea.  I had been asked to take care of the tables, which was like asking Charlie if he would like to taste the chocolate in the factory.  I had so much fun creating centerpieces and finding all the components to a festive, girly table arrangement.  Finding enough for 200+ ladies was challenging but rewarding.  

 The week prior to the event I was sure my new neighbors thought I had lost my mind.  After all, who spray paints 30+ sticks for two afternoons straight?  Crazy ladies on a budget, that's who!
My sweet man even got involved.  The butterfly paper punch proved to be too much for my little muscles, so he brought in his big guns and cut out more butterflies in 15 minutes than I had done in an hour.

I loved seeing all of the fun little details come together.  I know that in the grand scheme of things, matching straws and navy chocolate covered candies are not that big of deal; but it sure was a joy to see the finished product bless the ladies at the event.  

The greatest delight, however, was watching my sweet mom and my precious girls open their hearts and hands in service as well.  In other words, they worked like the dickens!    My kids (and my mom) worked without complaint on Friday as we set up for 4 hours.  On Saturday, my mom and girls helped load plates, fill tea dispensers, and serve the multitude.  We served enough fruit kabobs and scones to make the English proud.

In reality, I was the one who was proud...  the healthy kind of proud.  I was so proud to see my kids not only do what was asked of them, but to go beyond.  When they finished a task, they asked what they could help with next.  They offered others assistance.  

They served beyond.  

It really didn't matter who noticed, because for a moment it was just between Jesus and me. It was a moment that I gulped in the air that a mother needs to breathe.  The life giving moment when a momma sees the fruit of her labor.  It's the sum of all the little moments of investing into their hearts displayed.  

Yes, I have good kids, but let's be real.  They are typical kids who argue, roll their eyes, make poor choices.  Just like their momma.  They don't serve me bon bons (whatever the heck those are!) and ask if they can put away the dishes.  BUT, in the moment of serving others, they went beyond... and blessings abounded.

Mother's Day afternoon looked like this.  The weather was perfect, so I officially took the day off and read a book by the pond with kids' laughter as my playlist.

I'm linking up with Imparting Grace's Grace at Home series and Titus2sdays

Mothering: Releasing the Chains of Fear

"What if they don't turn out right?"  "What if I've utterly messed them up?"
It is the voice of fear. I know her voice so well.  It is a word we shame.  It locks onto our hearts and flows into spaces only the Comforter can fill.  Fear is not often discussed because it reveals weakness.

When you are in the throes of motherhood, the floundering moments often burn brighter than the cumulation of moments flourished.  We are so skilled at seeing our weaknesses and momentary failures that we begin to believe that our mother-making is a failure.

Be encouraged.
Your role as a mother goes beyond the tendrils of doubt and past the reaches of a few bad days thrown into the pot.   You are the mother that God chose for YOUR children.
Even the best of us have days that the comfort of downy blankets call with the promise that starting over would be better for everyone.  The most relaxed mothers still have moments of exasperation.  We are imperfect, needy humans.  We are human.  Only the Perfect Father could survive days of sibling rivalry, ungrateful hearts, and wearisome behavior without hiding beneath the veil of failure.

Some days this mothering business is more about molding the mother's heart than the rearing of children. Your heavenly Father desires to see you bloom and flourish.  He desires for you to recognize your need for Him.  He is the one who will ultimately fashion your child's heart.  You are the gardener, given the soil of their hearts.  It is a privilege to labor and toil in the dirt.  It is also messy work that requires rest along the way.  We are not asked to create perfect children.  We are given the tasks of watering their souls with God's truths; protecting them from the weeds of destructive culture; and tending to their needs with a heart of love.

Before you allow the "what if's" of fear to fill your heart,
remember that He has.
He has your child in the palm of His hand.
He has the future.
He has enough grace to cover our mistakes.
He has chosen you, regardless of your weaknesses.
He has the ability to bound  the chains of fear and set your heart free.

Welcome Spring

 Even though the calendar says it's officially spring, it feels a little questionable today at 39 degrees at 3:00 in the afternoon.  Spring has decided to play a little hide-n-seek in NC.  If you don't like the weather, just wait a day.  ;)

 We've pulled out the spring/Easter stuff around here.  Eggs make me happy.  They softly speak words of new beginnings to my soul.  I'm slightly obsessed with a new font in the "welcome spring" frame.  It is called "Things We Said."  You can download it for free here.

 I went with a blue and white theme for our entry way.  I feel a little rushed this year, maybe because Easter is SO early.  Oh well, my eggs are going to stay put for quite a while.

Our kids love the outdoors, but there are still days that I have to make them go outside.  Just last week these two were, ahem, needing to go out.  I told them to bundle up and go play basketball.  They not-so-happily obeyed, but before long, they were having so much fun I could hear their laughter through the window.  So I did what every normal (right?) parent would do and snuck pictures of them through the window.

They just needed a little fresh air and an opportunity to burn off some overflowing energy.

Yes, Spring, we welcome you!!

When Being the Life of the Party Becomes Lonely

"Emma is a really good friend, Mom.   Not only is she sweet, funny and kind, but she also invites me over to her house.  It's not just me having her here all the time."  These words were spoken by my twelve year old daughter just last week.  Her statement couldn't have been more timely.  Over the last few weeks, I have been pondering the same sentiment, albeit a little less from the cup-is-half-full perspective.

My husband and I love to entertain.  We enjoy planning events.  We love people.  One of the main objectives of our farm purchase was to share it with others.  We crave fellowship, whether it be a crowd or a couple.

But sometimes...
~sometimes it gets lonely being the one to invariably invite others into our home
~sometimes rejection stings
~sometimes it would be nice to be invited to do something without being the planner

Life is busy, but sometimes the lack of effort is painful to those we don't even mean to hurt.  I can pretty much be sure that none of our friends are thinking, "let's NOT invite them over."  I think it is more of an oversight, an omission rather than intentional.

Over the last few months we've waffled between "what's wrong with us" to "maybe we'll just stop the invitations and see what happens."  We have some dear friends who have also dealt with this issue amongst their extended family.  They chose a "Year of No," not to retaliate, but to protect their hearts because they felt they were setting themselves up for hurt and disappointment when their efforts were not reciprocated.  In some relationships, that is the boundary line that is necessary for the protection of emotional health.
We aren't to the point of a "year of no", but we feel the sting.

The most difficult pill to swallow is when we begin to see our kids suffer.  My oldest daughter recently said, "Mom, I'm always inviting friends over, but I feel like they never want me to come to their house.  It really hurts."  Yes, baby, it does hurt no matter how old you are.  My response was that our house is a fun place to be and we make people feel welcome, so they want to come.  Which is true, but sometimes it would be nice...

So today I encourage you to seek out those in your life who are the "life of the party."  Might they be feeling lonely?  Are you extending the hand of hospitality?  What about your children?  Are you teaching them the value of hospitality?
You don't have to make it a production.  The size of your home doesn't matter.  Real friends don't mind if there are dust bunnies in the corners.
A thoughtful invitation rejuvenates the soul, warms the heart and builds relationships.

I'm joining Imparting Grace today

Waffles, Pickles, and Puppies

Whipped cream and strawberries make me smile.  Some weeks you need a little extra boost for the smile factory.  Our beloved goat, Pickles died. She was our first casualty of farm life.  My daughter took it HARD.  I liked Pickles and I didn't want her to suffer, but I shed tears for my girl whose heart was broken over that sweet goat.  I love that she has a tender heart toward animals.  Life lessons stink sometimes, though.  She's doing fine now, especially since we have a new batch of foster puppies to enjoy. 

We work with a local non-profit rescue that collects adoptable dogs from high-kill shelters and places them up for adoption.  Because puppies cannot be exposed to the other dogs, due to their size and immunization, the rescue program relies on families like us to care for the pups in our homes until they are ready for adoption.   

I love that we are helping some pups in need.  I really love the responsibility that it is teaching my kids.  

 As you can see, they get NO attention around here! ;)

 
This is our last "quiet" weekend before basketball season kicks into high gear.  I'm relishing the calm.  How about you?
Enjoy your weekend!

10 Ways to Be a Better Mom

1. Call it a date.   Even if you can only squeeze in a trip to the bank and a milkshake in the drive thru, call it a date. Focused attention on each child, tells him that he is important as an individual, not just part of the herd.  Turn off the radio and ask questions that make him smile.
2. Listen, even when it is annoying.  Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  ;)    You've been there.  Some conversations are just roll-your-eyes-boring.  If my child is wanting to talk to me about all of the Lego battles that were won on our carpet, I need to listen.  Yes, there are days when I want to poke my eyes out because I've heard about the cute 7th grade boys a thousand time over.  But, so many treasures are hidden in the lines of my child's day.  If she is willing to let me peek into what is important to her, I need to be willing to listen ... and respond.
3. Say "I'm sorry" without giving excuses.  We all speak before thinking.  Some days (especially if my patience is running thin) I respond with clipped words.  It's not so hard to say "I'm sorry," but it is a stretch to say it without adding, "but if you had not _____________ I wouldn't have responded that way."  What are we teaching our children about true repentance if we constantly give excuses for our own words?
4. Love their Father. My children need to see my love for God.  Is it evident in the way I speak?  Do they see me spending time in His Word?  If not, then I am no better than the parent who says, "do as I say, not as I do."
5. Love their Daddy.  I could write the same lines as above.  Do my children see my love for their daddy?  Do I speak well of him?  Do they know we're crazy about each other? Do they get an eyewitness account of what God designed marriage to be?
6. Lighten up.  I don't know about you, but when my schedule fills up, so does my seriousness level.  Sometimes I allow my "business face" to take over because I'm trying to check things off the list.  Do you ever wonder why there is a crease between your eyebrows?  I wonder about mine too, but I have a slight suspicion that it comes from being too focused on all that "must get done."
7. Get a little CRAZY.  It is important for our kids to see and experience the fun side of mom. Crank up the music and show them some of your dance moves.  If you are like me, I don't really have dance moves.  Just, uh, moves.  White-girl-got-no-rhythm moves.  Not too long ago I cut loose and even let them record my crazy jig.  Did I embarrass myself?  Yes.  Would I die if anyone outside of our family saw the video?  Yes.  Will my kids remember how much fun we had that hysterical afternoon?  Y.E.S.
8. Touch them.  In a society that is saturated with perversity, it is sickening that I have to type this with caution.  Our children need to be touched by their moms.  Don't allow the depravity of our culture to steal the affection that your child needs from you.  Hug them.  Tickle them.  Squeeze their shoulders.  Hold their hands. Kiss their cheeks.  Even as they get older, DON'T STOP.  They need appropriate physical touch.  If that void isn't filled by healthy relationships, they will seek it from someone else.  That thought makes me shudder.
9. Worship freely.  When you see the markings of God's paintbrush across the sky, take the time to give the Artist the credit.  If a song of worship comes on the radio that moves your soul, let them see that you are awed by your Creator.  How many days do we allow to slip by without praising our Maker?  Allow it to be a natural part of each day.  Your children will learn, through example, what genuine worship is; not just something they attend on Sunday mornings.
10. Enjoy them.  "The days are long but the years are short".  I would shout that phrase from the rooftop if I could.  Yes, the daily grind is hard.  No, it's not a bowl full of cherries.  No, motherhood is not for the faint of heart.  BUT, you can enjoy it.  If you've been through a tough season, take baby steps.  Look for little delights that are brought to you through the lives of your children.  Savor the sweet moments, for these are the ones you will remember into your golden years.  When your children sense that you enjoy them, they will feel the security of love flow over their hearts.  To be treasured is one of life's greatest gifts.

I'm joining Grace at Home  and Front Line Moms and Pieces of Amy today.

Making the Beautiful Out of the Imperfect

 I yearn for the beautiful, but life is messy.  Do you avoid blog reading because it makes you feel less-than-perfect?  I do sometimes.  It's no secret that I'm a Pinterest fan, but I can allow the tendrils of feeling overwhelmed and insufficient slip in as I scroll through the pages.

Today I want to encourage you.
The only perfection we should be striving for is Jesus. If we seek perfection in anything else, especially ourselves, we will be left as tattered flags on a battleground.
Beauty, not perfection, is an attainable goal.
I don't have it all together.
I hide in the pantry and eat chocolate.
My closet looks like a bomb detonated.
I would rather read a book than teach Algebra, and sometimes I do.

What if I looked beyond the messiness of me and saw the beauty in my days?
Attitude is transforming.
As I was loading the picture above, I had to giggle.  My fall gourd vignette topped off with a hair band on the white pumpkin.
Life being lived is so much better than still-life.

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We have our first big event at the farm this weekend.  Needless to say, we are tying up all the loose ends.  We never accomplish more than when we're about to have company.  Can you relate?  

One of the projects to complete is our well house.  It needed to be painted and my man only has so many hours of daylight left thanks to daylight savings time.  I really wanted to paint it for him, but the constant mind battle of I-should-be-focusing-on-homeschool began.  I decided to start early and get as much done as possible.  As I started on the second side, I looked up and saw this:

My sweet boy brought homeschool to me!  He climbed up on the well house and we worked on his writing assignment as I painted.
Beauty out of the imperfect.

My daughter decided to join us and as she sat down next to the pond to work on grammar, she noticed that we have some new neighbors.

True beauty.

Our neighbor across the pond added a pony to our view, too.

I sometimes fall into the "yes" pit.  I say yes to stuff and then wonder why I feel like my household is out of control.  I realized that I had been saying "yes" to too much tv.  Yesterday I declared that it was a tv free day.  "No tv?!"  At first my kids couldn't understand why I was being so "mean."  I even doubted my reasoning.
However, when I came in from painting the well house, I found my girls playing cards.
On their own.
Without mom's suggestion.
Getting along.
Enjoying each other.

Yes.  Beauty out of the imperfect.

I encourage you to look for the beauty in the messiness of today.
Seek and you will find.  ;)

The Intentional Summer

We only have 18 times to create summer memories for our children.  15 if you're counting the ones they will remember.  What do you want your kids to remember?  I hope mine will remember lazy days by the pool, cookouts with friends and family, trips to the beach, and quiet afternoons filled with adventures found within the pages of a good book.  

As with most seasons of life, if I am not intentional, summers will slip by without warning.  I am realizing that we're on the short side of the timeline with my oldest.  In 5 summers, we will be packing her up for college.  Suddenly being intentional becomes imperative.

Intentionally relaxed.

Intentionally enjoying the season.

Intentionally making the most of a carefree day.

Intentionally creating memories filled with laughter, rolled in summer goodness.

 Our summer looks a little different this year because amid the pool fun and watermelon seeds we are weaving the new house decisions.  Visits to the cabinet shop and faucet choices are thrown in the mix.  I am having to find balance between the necessary and the intentional.  :)

 What is your favorite summer activity?

Encouragement From Moms

Encouragement: a balm of words to the soul

In a society inundated with children being pushed to be the best at everything they do, we sometimes lose focus on who they are.  I fear we are creating a generation that will not know the value of being over doing; character over accomplishments.

What a lonely soul my child will grow up to be if she feels valued only because of her accomplishments.  I need to intentionally give words of affirmation to the person my child is and her importance as a member of our family.

Here are a few ways we've tried to instill encouragement into our daily conversations.
1. Say "I love you" multiple times a day.  Those three words, when repeated (genuinely) hold such power.

2. "I'm so glad I get to be your mom" is a phrase I try to say every single day.  It speaks words of love and teaches them that motherhood is a gift.

3. When I used to pick my kids up in the carpool line, one phrase I used each afternoon in the car on the way home was, "I missed you today."  I wanted my kids to know that they still remained in my heart even when we were apart.

4. One of the phrases I've been working on is, "you sure make my life fun."  Yes, we have tough days, but for the most part, I wouldn't trade this time of my life for anything.  They need to know that they bring me joy.

5. This last one is tricky because it requires balance.  "You make me proud."  We all need to hear that, even as adults.  I just have to make sure they know I'm proud... without the expectation of perfection.

My own mom did such a great job being my cheerleader while I was growing up.  The Lord knew I needed her encouragement; after all, my #1 love language is words of affirmation.  :)

Keep up the good work, fellow moms!  Your words will last a lifetime!

Mind Your Manners

Do you get tired of correcting bad manners at the dinner table?
I hate having to be the Warden of the Table.  Inevitably I end up feeling worn out or defeated from having to say, "don't talk with food in your mouth;" "arms off the table;" "chew with your mouth closed."

We started something new that I found on Pinterest and it has given me a newfound freedom at dinner.

This little pig joins our table each night.  If I see someone using bad manners, I don't have to say a thing.  I simply place the pig in front of that person.  Whoever ends up with the pig at the end of dinner has to clean up the whole table.

Needless to say, it has greatly improved our dinner table etiquette.  Nobody (including Mom and Dad) wants to end up with the pig. :)

*We did have to set some ground rules, the most important being that only Mom gets to decide who gets the pig, unless she is caught by the others.  Needless to say, when we first started, the kids were all too eager to find fault in each other.

We found our pig in the dollar section at Target.  See the yellow button on his belly?  It makes a grunting sound.  Hilariously perfect.

Linking up with A2Z's Tips  and At The Picket Fence today!

Crazy is as Crazy Does

1. I don't know about you, but I welcomed October with open arms.... and candycorn nail night with my girls.  So fun!  

2. We've been official chicken owners for over a year now.  Our egg lay-ers have been producing eggs since last November.  A few weeks ago, we were up to 5 eggs a day.  Then something happened and we suddenly went from 5 to 1.  We thought maybe something was getting in the coop and collecting the eggs, like a snake or racoon.  We also noticed that our beautiful birds were looking R.O.U.G.H.  Thanks to the vast knowledge found on the internet, we discovered that our girls were molting.  They don't lay when molting.

Well, guess what happens when you don't do your job:

3. Haha!  Just kidding.  We've been raising meat birds, too.  I've got a whole post on that coming up soon... I know you're waiting on pins and needles.  Our egg layers are alive and kicking and we're patiently waiting for the egg production to pick back up.

4. On Saturday I was cutting through the parking lot of a local strip mall when suddenly I realized that I had driven right through the twilight zone middle of a Ford Fiesta Festival.

 Um, hello??  Ford Fiesta owners are proud enough to have a festival?  I've always thought of those cars as the lowest on the food chain of vehicles.  Take all kinds, I guess.  Normally when I see weird stuff unusual things, I try to casually sneak a picture or two.  Nope.  Not this one.  I decided if they were proud enough to meet in a parking lot with 100's of other Fiesta owners, they wouldn't mind the crazy lady in her giant SUV taking pictures with her zoom lens.  We're all a little crazy, aren't we?

5. Dinner conversation last week :
          Sister: My brother has a great memory.
          Brother: Yeah, I do.  I remember my birth nurse.
          Mom: Huh?  Whaaa????

6.I reached my limit last week and joyfully announced that this week would be fall break.  Whoops and shrieks ensued, and then I pulled myself together to allow the kids to respond.

7. To celebrate our first day of break, we went hiking yesterday.  It was one of those perfect mornings: sunny and brisk.  We met some dear friends who are also celebrating their fall break.  I'm not sure who had more fun, the moms or the kids.

 8.  I can't believe two days of our break are done.  I'm trying to savor each moment of just being in the role of MOM, not teacher.  It sure is fun!

What is bringing you joy this first week of October?