My Take on TV this Week

1. I need to mark Nevada off my list of places to visit. According to Fatal Attractions on the Animal Planet channel, this is a hot spot for tiger owners to take their beasts out for a walk.

2. The making of matches is much more involved than I ever imagined. I am amazed that they are so inexpensive. I now have the Doors' version of Come On Baby Light My Fiya in my head. Now you do too. You're welcome.

3. Why did I pause at The World's Fattest Man the other day? Why oh why would he agree to be filmed in his diaper? I couldn't handle it for more than 3.2 minutes.

4. Why am I disgustingly intrigued by Hoarders? Are there really this many Americans living in filth and with the need to purchase?

5. Probably my most burning question: Are there REALLY that many women who are Pregnant and Don't Know It to make an entire season of shows? Really?! They didn't know it?

6. While we're asking questions, how many different wedding planning/disaster shows are currently playing this season? I haven't found a single one that has drawn me in. Unlike gluttons and hoarders.

7. Other than having 19 (or is it 20 now?) Kids and Counting, I want to be like Michelle Duggar when I grow up. She defines patience and has the sweetest demeanor.

8. Anyone else notice how many "paranormal" shows are currently running? Weird. Nuf said.

9. I used to love HGTV because of the fun decorating ideas and design concepts. Now it needs to be called SHTV ~~ Selling Houses TV Grrrr.....

10. Since the Food Network seems to be going down the competition street, I am so glad that the Cooking Channel (fomerly Fine Living Network) is sticking to what we want to learn more about: FOOD

What's your take on tv lately?

Sunday Rest

For everything that was written in the past

was written to teach us,

so that through endurance

and the encouragement

of the Scriptures

we might have hope.

Romans 15:4

Things that Made my Week

1. We've had the privilege of leading a group of sweet girls. Don't let their age fool you. They've kept us on our toes with questions about death, angels, the origin of evil and fun stuff like that. :) What a blessing to see the next generation dig deep and define why and what they believe.

2. My mother gave me a stack of coupons the other day. Discreetly tucked into the stack was a coupon for EPT pregnancy tests. Whacha think she's hinting at?

3. The fine people over at CSN contacted me about doing a product review. With so many choices from their unique coffee tables to a vast array of cooking gadgets the possibilities are endless!

4. I received a wonderful surprise package from my dear {new} sister-in-law today. I am wearing my gift as I type: my very first snuggie/slanket. It's even better than the commercials make it out to be. I am wrapped in a sea of ivory plushness. Thank you, N!

5. Last weekend I took a little road trip... alone! Starting with a Campfire Mocha from Caribou Coffee it just got better. A book on cd, Hobby Lobby, Old Time Pottery, TJ Maxx, and HomeGoods kept me busy along the way. But, the real treat was getting to spend an evening with my bestie topped off with her white chicken chili and homemade cheesecake for just us girls on her back porch. We got a little crazy and set our alarms for 5:50 am. Why? Because the Nester was having a gigantic yard sale. I had the chance to meet her and her wonderful sister Emily. They were so adorable and gracious. We came away with some good stuff, too!

6. Tomorrow we will officially begin our fall break. Whoot woot! We love our year around schedule! After 11 weeks of school, we are ready for some downtime.

7. We've been in project mode around here. With 3 rooms under construction I have lots of good blog fodder for the future :)

8. I love wearing a sweatshirt to my little man's baseball games. It's so much better than wearing a coat of gnats and other hot weather bugs.

9. I took a nap wrapped in a blanket on the back porch on Sunday afternoon. My happy place.

10. The weather was cool enough to put chili in the crock pot and light a pumpkin spice candle. Glory.

The Pleaser Parent

Earlier in the week I shared with you my battle with pleasing others. Today, I want to explore how it affects parenting.

If you are a pleaser, then there is a good possibility that you faced some of the same difficulties I did during my first year of becoming a parent. Before our first child was born, we attended parenting classes, read books about parenting, and told ourselves that we were ready. Since I am a rule-follower, I assumed that everything would go as expected. Our baby apparently forgot to read the owner's manual. By week four I was completely devastated that our baby wasn't following the schedule that the book said we should follow. After all, the parenting class assured us that if we stuck to the sleep-eat-play schedule, then life would fall into a normal rhythm. Nope. Not true. We even decided to go for a second round of mental torture parenting classes geared toward the baby-toddler stage. Again, I was devastated when our precious girl only slept for 30-45 minutes during naptime. But the book said....!

Fortunately, my mom encouraged me to close the book and just enjoy it. "God gave you mothering instincts for a reason. Listen to them." That same week my bestie, also a new mom, said, "There is no way that one book can be perfectly written for millions of babies {other than the Bible} with unique personalities." Oh the freedom in those words. I was trying to live up to standards that man had created. And failing miserably.

Into the toddler years I found myself trying to please another source: other moms. While having peers in the same chapter of life can be a blessing, to the Pleaser it can be a mine field. "You feed your children gummies?" "How long did you breastfeed?" "What about potty training?" So many areas in which a mom wants to answer correctly. After child number two I started to realize that there is no magically correct answer to most of these questions. Even though I parent my children (mostly) the same, their own little personalities play a big role. It was a tough lesson, but I quickly learned that if I parent to please others, then my children are really going to be messed up. The urge to please other moms can rear its ugly head in all kinds of ages and stages. "You let your kids wear flip flops in November?" "What time do your kids go to bed?" "What kind of activities are your children involved in?"

As we are slipping into the pre-teen stage I am reminded again of the dangers of being a pleaser-parent. This is the age that a little part of me wants to please them. As we face bigger and more morality-based issues, I have to decide whether it is worth it to be a Pleaser-parent or not. Am I going to let it alter my decision when I get some eye-rollers because I say no to a tv program? Putting on my big girl panties and realizing that I still know what's best for them can be tough.

Even though each stage of parenting brings its own twist and turns, the desire to please remains.

What to do?

1. Pray! Ask the Lord to give you a discerning heart.

2. Audience of One: keep in mind that He is the ONLY one I need to please.

3. Ask: Are my parenting choices pleasing to the Lord and biblically based?

4. Remember: even though some of us have more experience than others, NO ONE is the expert. We're all on a learning curve.

5. Seek good council. It's okay to ask advice from other seasoned parents. Just don't fall into the comparison trap. It's deadly. Also remember that just because a really good parent suggests it, doesn't mean it will work for you. (see #1 above)

FB Personality Test*

I love to watch people, in the mall, at the airport etc... As I've "watched" people on Facebook, I've noticed that most of them fall into one of these categories:

:)

Foodie - each of my posts consist of how healthy -or- unhealthy I am eating

Woe is Me - I like the world to feel sorry for me. I'm having a bad day (yet again) and want everyone to know

Weird- I make no sense to anyone else, but I sure find myself funny

Exercising my Pride - Guess how much weight I've lost. Guess, guess! I've just completed 89 minutes on the elliptical machine for the second time today followed up by running 9 miles in leg weights.

Comedian- I have a good sense of humor and keep life fun for all of my friends

Silent Film Star- I'm on Facebook often, yet you never hear me say a word. Basically I stalk all of my friends. I'm a little creepy.

Who Cares?- Wanna know what color my shoestrings are today?

Up and Up - I do a great job keeping up with my friends and my updates are frequent and interesting

Just for Kids - I have lost my own identity. Even my profile picture is of my kids.

It's all about the Numbers - I don't say much, and we really don't know each other, but will you be my friend so that it looks like I'm really popular?

Livin' in the Past - If you saw me on the street, you wouldn't recognize me since my profile photo is from my glory days.

Gamer- I play Facebook games all day and I am not ashamed. In fact, I'll gladly post the link.

Well Rounded - Sometimes I'm funny, sometimes I share news or tips, sometimes I am serious, sometimes I complain, sometimes I am silent. Facebook is not my life, just a great place to catch up with friends that I don't get to see that often.

Are you a Facebooker? If not, you're still cool with me. If so, which of these describes your FB personality? Have a new category you'd like to add to the list? I'd love to hear!

*No, you're not losing your mind... this is a re-post from 1/10. :)

Pleasing Others

Hello, my name is Gretchen, and I am a pleaser. Are you? If you are not, stick around because there is a good possibility that someone very near and dear to you is.

I've been a pleaser my whole life. As far back as I can remember I have felt the burden of everyone's happiness on my shoulders. Not that I could actually make them happy, but I wanted to smooth the waters and do everything in my power to please. Even in the tumultuous teen years I sought to please my parents. Was I self absorbed like my peers? Sure, but the opinion of my parents was powerful enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.

As a young adult I sought to please my peers, in-laws, co-workers, parents, husband, fellow church members, and even casual acquaintances. Under the guise of being a pleaser, what I really wanted was their approval. Even as a young mom I wanted the approval of other moms, my children's teachers and anyone else that had a role in the development of my mothering skills. That was a hard job. I wore myself out trying to please everyone because the timeless saying You can't please everyone is undeniably true.

Funny how, in the midst of my "I want to please everyone" I didn't stop to think about what God thought of my pleaser-mentality. It has taken me thirtymumblesomething years but I am learning that I CANNOT please everyone. I cannot gain their approval. Even the people who have known me the longest will never approve of me all the time. So where have all of the years of "pleasing" gotten me? Do my peers approve of me any more than others who are not pleasers? No. Do my parents approve of me more than my non-pleaser brother? No. Do half of the people that I come into contact even care if I am a pleaser? No.

My search to please (and gain approval) comes from an attitude of seeking significance from people. The only place that I will ever find true significance is in the approval of my heavenly Father. 1 Thessalonians 2:4b says:

We are not trying to please men, but God, who tests our hearts.

When I try to please others I am handed judgement, criticism, and possibly rejection. On the contrary, if I seek to please God he already knows my heart. I don't have to worry if He will misconstrue my motives and actions. He knows and he loves me.

I have and will continue to face criticism and judgement my entire life. -A pleaser's greatest enemy.

Do I want others to be happy? Sure.

Am I going to become confrontational? Um. No!

Am I going to allow others' approval motivate me? I am choosing to answer no.

The Lord and I have wrestled with this for a long time. I am ready to throw in the towel and surrender my need for approval. He is enough.

Are you a pleaser?

How critical are you of the loved ones in your life?

Let's give both of those to the Lord today.

Sunday Rest

The precepts of the Lord are right,

giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant,

giving light to the eyes.

Psalm 19:8