November 2, 2009

Hiding in the Bushes

It has begun. The 55 days of annual weight gain. It begins on November 1 when I pilfer through the leftover Halloween candy and ends with my momma's cooking on Christmas day. Anyone else have this problem?
I'm taking a stand!
No more holiday weight gain!
Wow. I sound so sure of myself! So in control!

If only you could have seen me on Friday...

My mother, who lives next door, called around 10:30 and asked me to come over and help her with a computer issue. I told her I could come, but I was still in my pj's. Her reply was, "good! me too." So I slipped on some shoes and ran across the yard, giving my 10 year old a good excuse to be the boss for the next 20 minutes. As I left, I reminded her to not answer the door if someone rang the bell, which is silly because we never have anyone come to the door in our neighborhood.

After being the geek-squad at a reduced rate, I was standing at the fence in my mom's yard when we noticed a car pull up and park in front of my house. Are you kidding me? What are the odds?! Realizing it was the men in black toting the book of Mormon I started across my back yard trying to make it home before they rang the door bell and scared my kids. I know my mom totally had my back in her cute little nightgown.

I was just about half way to the door, when I realized that they were not coming toward my house, but heading across the street to the neighbor's house, so I quickly ducked behind a bush. Darting behind a second bush, I watched them head up his driveway. As I made the last dash to my back door, a movement caught my eye.

It was a man and a woman walking up my driveway no more than 30 feet away. I stood frozen. I think I squeaked a hi!
The woman graciously said, "I can see you are busy, so we'll only take a minute of your time."

Yes, yes, I'm quite busy practicing my stealthy geek-squad moves.
In my pajamas.
At 11:00 in the morning.
In the back yard.
Thankyouverymuch.


22 comments:

The Chubby Dove said...

LOL ~ thanks for a great story to start my day!

Tracey said...

"stealthy geek-squad moves"..hahahaha

Oh how I wish there was a video! My question..how did you manage to get out of the conversation and get in the house??

Thanks for blogging this, it was just to good to remain a facebook status update!

Amber said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Please tell me that you also cower behind the couch and shush the kids when the Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door, too. Because I need someone else to model excellent parenting with me!!!

:)

Karen said...

You gave me a Monday morning giggle. Thanks!

Graceful said...

I'm laughing out loud at your story this morning! I frequently get caught in my pjs -- putting out the trash...grabbing the paper...sticking my head outside to gauge the temperature...but never by a Mormon!

Carpool Queen said...

I can't believe they said "You're busy and WE'RE STILL GOING TO STAY."

Hee hee...

Anonymous said...

yep, i loved hearing, as what's-his-name would say, "the REST of the story!"
- TZ :)

Heather said...

ha! that's hilarious:). as for the weight gain...mine usually goes until after the 1st of the year:(...i'm guessing that being sick is going to help me not eat, though!

KR said...

Nuh uh!!! That did not happen to you. Oh my. You deserve both Reese's cups for that.

flyonthewall said...

Oh, this gave me such a chuckle! You have a wonderfully delightful way of telling stories - thank you for sharing!

Dawn said...

oh my gosh!!
how funny. or not, depending on if you were the one in the pj's in the bushes? good luck during the next 55 days... i'll be eating with you!

Sherri said...

Love the word picture. LOL.

Sandy said...

I still laughed aloud even though I witnessed the whole thing!

Kellie said...

Oh no! So. stinking. funny.

Did your kids get any dark chocolate Kit-Kats? I hpe they did, because really, they are pretty good....

Runner Mom said...

You are too funny!

Gretchen said...

I got into SUCH trouble one day when I let the JW into my house while I was alone and my mom was at work. There's a tongue thrashing I'll never forget. ;) I was 12 then and 40 today. Yep. Still remember.

Kellie said...

HAHHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE this. You crack me up.

dawn said...

That is hysterical. I've been known to peek around the corner of my wall to see who was at the door, only to have the folks from the Jehovah's Witnesses notice and wave at me. Guess you have to answer the door then, huh?

Thanks for the laugh!

Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

OH, that is too funny!
I can often be found in my "lounge wear" at that time, but generally not hiding in the bushes. Too cute.

Kristen said...

Oh NO!! That is funny (but maybe not so much at the time!) Rest assured, JW canvas the neighborhoods in groups, but those nice Mormon kids are usually walking or on bikes. As for the weight gain, can you believe I started a diet two weeks before Halloween?! I'm holding out till Thanksgiving for a dessert and hopefully I won't look huge in all the Christmas pictures! Ha!

Brenda said...

What are the odds?! That's hilarious!

Amy said...

Every exterminator, local JW, and punch list worker has seen me in my pajamas by now. When you show up unannounced at someone's house, it's like a box of chocolates. It's your house (or yard), so they should be more embarassed for intruding on your pj time! Ditto CPQ, too!