December 5, 2008

Poor Santa

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,

Nothing that could be cut from a root.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift to give to us all,
that crossed every border and knocked down every wall.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...


Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

This post is wonderful!!!!
Merry Christmas to YOU.

Sandy Toes said...

That is cute and funny!!!!
Something on my blog for you!
-sandy toes

Janet said...

I don't even remember from whose blog I found yours, but I am thrilled! You are such a creative person! Your writing -keeping it real - your! Brian has wondered what novel I am reading. He even studied your picture to figure it out. I'm telling you...these haircuts trip people up. Your beautiful blog makes me want to curl up with a hot drink and see creativity in action.

On another note...I have not forgotten. Let's get together and while we are at it. Let's make it a night out! :) My e-mail is I write this I realize that this isn't the best time of year, but even if we have to wait til January - it will be here before we know it.

Janet said...

I'm not even sure whose blog it was that I discovered yours from. But I am sure thrilled! Wow! You are such a creative writer and I love your 'keeping it real' posts about motherhood, etc. And talk about decorating! Brian wondered whose novel I was reading and he even studied your picture. (These hair cuts sure trip people up I'm learning.) Your blog does make me want to get a hot drink and curl up and learn from you!

Also...I have not forgotten. Let's get together soon and hey - while we are at it - let's make it a night out! I realize, as I type this, that 'tis the season for busyness'. Even if we need to wait til January, it will be here before we know it. My e-mail is

kenda said...

That is too cute. I love reading and watching your blog; in fact, I have decided to steal your idea of the "tile" coasters. Too cute! But, I have searched for that tile and I am not sure the size of it? Is it 6x6, it looks smaller than that? If you don't mind, I would like to know where you found it and the stoppers on the back? I am not an arts & crafts person!!! Thank you so much - I did find the stazon and stampers!

Shanda said...

What a fabulous twist on the traditional! You are gifted my friend!

Thank you for entering my "Cool Christmas Giveaway!" I hope you have safe and fun travels! Another awesome book if you haven't already read it is, "Behind Those Eyes" by Lisa Whittle (in case you are in need of more reading material for your trip!)

Have a wonderful Sunday!

Shannon @ Silver Trappings said...

Haa! That's great! I love it!!!