I was having one of those days.
You know the kind: when you want to run out in the middle of the yard and scream at the top of your lungs, pitch a hissy fit and announce "I can't take it anymore!!!"
If you are nodding your head and smiling in acknowledgement, then I like you. Keep reading. If you are judging me and thinking you've never had one of those days, then let me know when you write your book. I'll buy it.
Anyways, as I was saying, it was one of those mommy days that I just couldn't win. Know why?
I do believe that the preteen hormone tornado has attacked our house. Leaving a path of unpredictable outbursts, funky attitudes, and a very wigged out mommy.
Combine that with 30-something pms hormones and you've got an all out war abrewin'.
As we stru-gggled through homework the pressure was building. I was reeeely trying to keep my own attitude in check. After showing some grace (albeit through clenched teeth) twice, on the third offense, I had to give a consequence. Broken hearted over the fact that she would have to go to bed before her siblings, the tears started flowing. She apologized and I told her I forgave her. Which I did. Then she said it again.
This is the point that I truly thought I would blow my top. I was looking for my nearest escape route. I really wanted to handle this situation well, but I needed help. I prayed for guidance and acknowledged that this was beyond my expertise.
After yet another round of apologies and I-forgive-yous the truth came out. She thought that if I forgave her, then the consequence didn't have to be carried out.
I explained to her how I had already shown grace; that I was sad that she would have to go to bed early but I was on her side. We talked about how I acted when I was that age and about the yucky, strange emotions that she is having.
About that time I was feeling pretty good.
Great conversation! Way to go, mom!
She didn't say that, but I was sure she was thinking it.
Then she said (in a whiny preteen voice) 'but I'm soo sorry.'
I know!!!! We've already discussed that!!!
We needed space.
From each other.
Like right now.
I encouraged (read: commanded) her to go outside with her siblings.
As I stood in the quiet kitchen I had a little conversation with God:
Um... where were you? I asked for your help and we are still battling.
I don't think you understand. I've reached my limit.
I'd really rather stay in here and fume. (I get a lot done when I'm fuming)
But I have on these cute Mary Jane shoes.
She had a basketball in her hands when I walked out to the driveway. I took a deep breath and said, "Hey, can I play?"
Her eyes grew wide and she smiled a smile that makes a mother's heart swell.
At first we just shot a few baskets. Then we progressed to an all out game. As we laughed and sweated and bonded, I realized why the Lord was whispering to me to GO OUTSIDE. If I had stayed inside and fumed/pouted I would have missed out on hearing my darling girl, with eyes wide in wonderment say, "Wow, Mom, I didn't know you were that good at basketball."
Oh ye-yah, who's your mama?
Shootin' hoops in her mary-janes!
As I beamed I whispered to the Lord: I didn't know where you were going with this one, but I sure am glad I listened. 'Cause I knew you were that good!
Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
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