February 15, 2012

Nineteen days

It's been 19 days since my last post. 
Nineteen days of staying quiet. 
Nineteen days of fighting Satan's lies that I am not worthy.
Nineteen days of a soul battle.
Nineteen days of questioning my role here as a writer.
Nineteen days of listening for His voice.
Nineteen days of waiting.

Satan is the prince of lies.  He makes them sound so rational.  
I started to believe his whispers:
~You're not worthy to write about freedom in Christ when you've been in a chokehold since November.
~You're failing in some of your relationships, so how could you write about relating to others?
~You flounder in your walk with Christ, so how could you share His love with others?

This is where I have been:  
Frozen in a winter of lies.
The truth is, I don't feel worthy.  But my Savior is thawing my cold, weary heart and reminding me of His light that burns away the frost of the soul.

I had allowed earthly disappointments and relational heartache to seep into my soul and rob my joy.  Over the course of a few months, I began to realize that I no matter how hard I tried to fix it, I was powerless.  
Powerless to please.  
Powerless to redeem myself.

And then it hit me.
I have already been redeemed.  
Even when others see my flaws, He sees my heart and He says I am worth dying for.  
Even when I feel powerless, He makes the weak strong.  
Even when I don't know what to say, He reminds me that He loves me.

Have you been believing Satan's lies?  He has plenty for each of us and he's ready to dish it out.  Don't succumb to the icy fingers of falsehood.  Be filled with the warmth of the Father's arms.  They are ready to wrap around your soul and rekindle your joy.

I'm back and I'm ready to share my journey with you.  You're going to be surprised at what has happened over the last few months.  Can't wait to catch up with you!!!  xoxo


ashley said...

So glad to see you back! I have been waiting to see you at the top of my blog list. :) I look forward to hearing your heart... you always do such a great job of being so open and honest, while at the same time encouraging others and glorifying the Lord with your words. Keep writing!!

Thoughts for the day said...

I have missed your writing and thoughts, hope you are back to continue what you began.
He will bless you.

truth in weakness said...

and nineteen days that i have come here anxiously awaiting your return. (most days several few times.) in fact, this afternoon i came close to commenting on your last post, "hey! where've you been???) :)

when we're in the midst of feeling like we don't have it all together is probably some of the best time to write. His power is made perfect in our ugly messes, friend. and i'm so, so thankful the Lord enabled you to see the lies for what they were. and to begin listening to His voice of truth -- amidst your imperfections. and remember, when He looks at you & i, praise GOD He doesn't see us & all of our struggles & weaknesses; He sees JESUS! in all His glory, splendor, & righteousness! (grace with a capital G for sure!!)

ever anxious to hear more about your journey. love & hugs to you, as always.

Alisa said...

I always LOVE seeing you on my blogroll! Be encouraged. YOU are a blessing.

Kellie said...

I think we all face some of that from time to time. Sometimes we try to put on a fake face on our blogs, but real life happens and it is always good to share, I have found, because you never know when you are able to help someone else. Satan can pull you down so far that you don't think you'll ever rise again, but the Lord has stronger ropes to pull you from the pit and set your feet to walking with Him again. Hugs, friend!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Glad you're back. I'm in the midst of some pretty intense relational junk. Wondering if your story can help me with mine... anxious to hear your heart!

Sarah said...

Gretchen, you are His Beloved. You are worthy to speak His words because He dwells inside of you. Satan loves to feed off our insecurities. But, Jesus cherishes you Girl. He hears beautiful music when you speak His name through your blog. Keep writing. You don't need to polish yourself up before writing God's promises. Grace is awesome like that. But you know all that...but, sometimes it's nice to hear a sister in Christ remind you! Love you sweet sister!

MEEMAW said...

In the words of that minor prophet that we read so often Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love, He will REJOICE OVER YOU WITH SINGING." So that we may boldly say " I am the one He loves". Hallelujah, His Truth melts the lies.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful words, sweet friend! Don't believe the lies, God has given you a gift with your words, His light shines through when you write. I am thankful for every little part of you!! Hugs, EBF

Sherri said...

Welcome back. You've been sorely missed! Can't wait for your updates. I've been in that winter...more times than I would like to count.

Anonymous said...

You are always an inspiration and I love to read your thoughts, experiences, feelings...

Thank you for returning.


Bugs and Sunshine said...

you are precious and the Lord always uses your words to minister to me-especially on days when leggos cover the floor and dirty dishes cover my counter and the only thing that fit me are my fat pants-i come to your blog and something you've said gives me a ray of sunshine in my day! hugs!

tarajj said...

looking forward to reading about your journey and even more so wishing I was there in NC, sharing, leaning and learning together. Today I was just thinking of you and decided to pop over to blog world. I have one 12 yr old and 2 8 yr olds here today. The opposite of your normal world, with the older boy "leader" they are all now outside shooting nerf guns, just to think if it were two older girls here the little boy might be playing prince!

O Mom said...

19 days doesn't seem like that long, unless you are the one going through it....prayers for you!

Bo said...

It's ok to not be UP all the time. Even the faithful are sometimes in the wilderness. Sometimes we're slogging. Sometimes other people's choices cause us unexpected and difficult work and emotions.

Just remember outgoing tides come back in. Weeping endureth for a night but JOY cometh in the morning. May God bless all our imperfect lives with lift, comfort, vision and finally JOY.

Be blessed Gretchen : )

Dawn said...

I have missed you! We don't know each other in this physical realm but in the spiritual i'm sure we will one day meet. Your writing is always a blessing and I look forward to hearing from you via the world of blog. Our testing is what brings about testimony and I am glad you are able to testify that HIS light is bring you back out of the darkness. Jesus' journey in this world was not easy so why we,( including myself there,) think our journey will be is beyond me. God bless you and your family and keep on fighting the good fight. x

Laura Robinson said...

so glad to see you're back! Can't wait to see your heart!

Bonnie Hitchcock said...

What pure honesty. God honors that! I see so much phoniness among Christins. It's good to see that you are real! Jesus was broken that He may indenity with our brokenness. He was lonely so he could identify with our loneliness. He was misunderstood so that he could idenity when other misunderstand us. I am so thankful for that on this Easter evening!