September 27, 2010

Girl Stuff

WARNING: This is a girlyfied re-post from 7/08. It's about woman stuff... just sayin.

Why, at the age of 30 mumblesomething years old, do I still get nervous about buying feminine hygiene products?
I usually only buy them at Target or Walmart because it is easier to hide them under layers of stuff and then wedge them discreetly between cereal boxes on the conveyor belt.

Heaven forbid I run into someone I know with a box of tampons sitting on the top of the cart!

Why do I break out into a cold sweat when I see a man running the cash register? Why can't I just walk up with my head held high and put those puppies down? I mean I've been buying them for 20 years!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to plunk them down on the counter and growl "whatchewlookinat?" Mr.T style. But no, not me. I cower. I strategically plan my shopping trips to avoid embarrassment.


Except for days like today.

Today I was desperate.
I went to the drug store.
I was trying to shop as discreetly as possible, to avoid the loud, "What's that, Mommy?" questions from my children.
I was so out of my comfort zone, with no cart to shield my secret purchase.

As I stood in line, my hormones screamed for the king size Reeses Cups on sale.
I caved, naturally.

I realized what a hormonal dork I looked like as I casually tossed my jumbo sized box of tampons and my king size candy bar on the counter. Yeah, I may as well have bought estrogen pills and a douche for good measure.

And then I looked up.

A teenage boy.
Of course.

Poor guy. I'm sure he wanted to laugh as much as I wanted to run and hide in the racks of mascara. Bless his heart, he was trying to be friendly throughout the transaction.

But then he said it.

Do you want a bag for this?

Ummmm.... no, let me just put the jumbo box on the top of my head and parade myself through the parking lot while I wolf down my king size candy bar.


Nancy's Notes said...

Thanks for the chuckle on this early morning and I have not even had my coffee! Cute post and so true!

ashley said...

oh my goodness... this gave me a great laugh at 7am this morning. thank you! i am going to go have to make a similar purchase this morning. ;) you know how you said it would be awful to see someone you knew while those things are laying on top of your cart? well, a few months ago, i was buying a very un-discreet version of "birth control" at target (you know what i am talking about... they come in a pack of 12) and they were one of the two items sitting in my hand-held basket. i ran into a friend of the family, a deacon from our church. GREAT! probably one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. :)

Joy for the Seasons said...

Yes, every woman's fears!

amber waves of grain said...

I hear ya! Although I am less embarrassed to buy the feminine products than I am to buy the "family planning" ones that ashley mentioned... I always feel the need to hand over the cash/card with my left hand so they can see my wedding ring so they know that I am "allowed" to purchase said item.

Anonymous said...

oh what a riot. makes me think that my dad deserves a huge award b/c w/ 4 girls, he was certainly sent out on emergency runs -- more than once. (of course we had to send details like the colors on the packaging for verification.) ;)

there is indeed a special place in heaven for that man.

- TZ

Sherri said...

If it helps any, I suspect that when the day comes that you no longer need to buy'll wish you still did. Revel in your youth! Of course, when I was 16, I still didn't need them yet, and that was a bummer too.

Jenn A said...

Great story! What a laugh! I have four boys and I'm always trying to be sure and by those supplies when I'm shopping by myself and put them away quick so I don't get too many questions.

Terri said...

That was so funny and true, oh my. One time my 2 year old was a bit too quiet for words, so I went to hunt her down. There she was sitting on the bathroom floor unwrapping all the pads and ripping off the sticky part and had a huge ball of them, all stuck to each other. Now you can only tell that story to a bunch of ladies!

Nikki said...