Calling a Truce

I sat at the table with women of various ages and a patchwork of backgrounds when the question was raised:

"Do you feel a chasm between your homeschooling friends and your traditional school friends?"

I stayed silent to hear the responses of the women around me.
My initial (silent) response was no; but everyone else seemed to feel the opposite.

The first to speak was a mother of public schooled children.  Her response was, "I often feel judged or inferior to those who homeschool.  If you're not homeschooling or sending your children to private school, you are looked down on."
Nods of agreement came from some of the other moms.

One of the homeschool moms replied, "There seems to be levels of homeschooling thought, too.  If you aren't radical, or following a certain curriculum, you're inferior."

This was a table full of very opinionated, strong personalities; and yet they were expressing their feelings of insecurity regarding the opinion of other moms.

Why do we do this?  Why do we begin motherhood as if it were an episode of Survivor, casting our votes of who is doing it "right" and who should form alliances.  From the time we find out there is a little bundle of joy on its way, the competition begins.  We compare  and take measure of one another until all that is left of ourselves is insecurity.

~Prenatal care
~Birth plans
~Breastfeeding
~Preschool
~How soon my child is reading
~The number of extra curricular activities
~Our children's success rate in any of the above
~Public, Private, or Homeschool
~How young to have a cell phone, email, facebook, texting...

The list goes on and on.  Why do we need to see it as a competition?  Who are we comparing ourselves to?  If you have found the PERFECT mother, please let me know and I might jump on the bandwagon of trying to be like her, but so far she's no where to be found.  Certainly not in my household.

Rather than comparing and judging, why don't we call a truce?  No more competition.  Let's encourage one another.  Let's be willing to make different choices, find contentment in the decision, and celebrate the differences.


When we are faced with a decision, like education, the only person we need to make sure we are seeking is the Lord.  Once He has made it clear what I am to do, it really shouldn't matter what answer He has given my neighbor.  If she is following His call for her family, then I am CALLED to rejoice with her, pray for her, and support her willingness to follow the call.

Imagine how sweet the community of motherhood would be if we were willing to lay down our insecurities and look for opportunities to rejoice together.


**I'm linking up with Richella today.  Check out her blog to read of more ways Grace is Imparted...