March 13, 2013
When Being the Life of the Party Becomes Lonely
My husband and I love to entertain. We enjoy planning events. We love people. One of the main objectives of our farm purchase was to share it with others. We crave fellowship, whether it be a crowd or a couple.
~sometimes it gets lonely being the one to invariably invite others into our home
~sometimes rejection stings
~sometimes it would be nice to be invited to do something without being the planner
Life is busy, but sometimes the lack of effort is painful to those we don't even mean to hurt. I can pretty much be sure that none of our friends are thinking, "let's NOT invite them over." I think it is more of an oversight, an omission rather than intentional.
Over the last few months we've waffled between "what's wrong with us" to "maybe we'll just stop the invitations and see what happens." We have some dear friends who have also dealt with this issue amongst their extended family. They chose a "Year of No," not to retaliate, but to protect their hearts because they felt they were setting themselves up for hurt and disappointment when their efforts were not reciprocated. In some relationships, that is the boundary line that is necessary for the protection of emotional health.
We aren't to the point of a "year of no", but we feel the sting.
The most difficult pill to swallow is when we begin to see our kids suffer. My oldest daughter recently said, "Mom, I'm always inviting friends over, but I feel like they never want me to come to their house. It really hurts." Yes, baby, it does hurt no matter how old you are. My response was that our house is a fun place to be and we make people feel welcome, so they want to come. Which is true, but sometimes it would be nice...
So today I encourage you to seek out those in your life who are the "life of the party." Might they be feeling lonely? Are you extending the hand of hospitality? What about your children? Are you teaching them the value of hospitality?
You don't have to make it a production. The size of your home doesn't matter. Real friends don't mind if there are dust bunnies in the corners.
A thoughtful invitation rejuvenates the soul, warms the heart and builds relationships.
I'm joining Imparting Grace today