July 1, 2008

Purchase of the Day

WARNING: This is a girls-only  post ...  for the 3 men that actually read my blog.

Why, at the age of 35 years old, do I still get nervous about buying feminine hygiene products?
I usually only buy them at Target or Walmart because it is easier to hide them under  layers of stuff and then wedge them discreetly between cereal boxes  on the conveyor belt.  

Heaven forbid I run into someone I know with  a box of tampons sitting on the top of the cart!

Why do I break out into a cold sweat when I see a man running the cash register?  Why can't I just walk up with my head held high and put those down?  I mean I've been buying them for  20 years!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to plunk them down on the counter and growl "whatchewlookinat?" Mr.T style.  But no, not me.  I cower.  I strategically plan my shopping trips to avoid embarrassment.   


Except for days like today.

Today I was desperate.
I went to the drug store. 
I was trying to shop as discreetly as possible, to avoid the loud, "What's that, Mommy?" questions from my children.
I was so out of my comfort zone, with no cart to shield my secret purchase.  

As I stood in line, my hormones screamed for the king size Reeses Cups on sale. 
I caved.  

I realized what a hormonal dork I looked like as I placed my jumbo sized box of tampons and my king size candy bar on the counter.    Yeah, I may as well have bought queen size panty hose for good measure.

And then I looked up. 

A teenage boy.  
Of course.

Poor guy.  I'm sure he wanted to laugh as much as I wanted to run and hide in the racks of mascara.  He was trying to be friendly throughout the transaction.

And then he said it.

Do you want a bag for this?

Ummmm.... no, let me just put the jumbo box on the top of my head and parade myself through the parking lot while I wolf down my king size candy bar.


Kellie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! I was laughing so much Wesley came over and wanted to see what it was I was laughing about!! I am SO with you on this! I still feel the same way. Your description, though, just killed me...

Wait till your son sees one of those lovely things sitting on your bathroom counter because you forgot to put it away and asks "Mom, is that a firecracker??" ... Well, sortof, son... ha!

I'll be chuckling over this for a bit. Thanks for the laugh.

Miss G said...

hilarious! i'm sitting here laughing! i know what you mean! greatness. kelly

Charlene said...

i laughed out loud when I read this..I have felt the exact same ...why oh why do we torture ourselves so.

The Berry Patch said...

lol! I go through this every time. I always get Reese's cups during that time too! Cute (and honest) post. I think most of us are with YOU on this!

Brandee :-)

Kim said...

Hee Hee Hee Hee...I was brought to tears! Girl you crack me up! thanks for being so honest!

Anonymous said...

I just laughed out loud sitting here- too, too true! I'm heading out for the same kind of errand today, and I'm going to try to be brave!!

Beams of Light Ministries said...

You are too funny! I just sat here about to cry! And, it's true. Buying these lovely products can cause a little pause. But for me, I look at it this way - NOW - I had to talk myself into this mindset. But, buying these things means that I still have the capability to produce life! And, well, for me, that's a good thing. Be happy that you too still have that God-given capability and plop those suckers down on the counter with pride!


Suz said...

What a laugh! I love the story because we can all relate.

Laura said...

HIL-AR-I-OUS!!! OH my! Yep, I feel the same way. I am always afraid I'll run into someone of the male species from church or something as I come out of THAT aisle.

Loved the commenter who said it made her proud that she could still produce life. I think I'll keep that one in mind for the soon-approaching-day when my children begin asking "what are those?" as I bury them in the shopping cart.

Great post!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

4 kids and 42 years of such moments...

I'm over it. I usually send my husband!


over from Lysa's!

Julie said...

Well, I guess there is one benefit from menopause.....

I found you at Lysa's blog.

It's nice to meet you.


Carpoolqueen said...

This comment's a YEAR late, but I busted out laughing.... Yes, nice to know I'm not alone.